Being feeble

Two blog posts in two days is a bit keen perhaps but today was a bit notable. Well, actually it was a bit crap. First day back at work and I was a bit of a mess. I can't really figure out why but I got ridiculously anxious about the whole thing, and went around in a bit of a daze. I was staring at the wall one minute, then feel stupidly upset the next. After 2 double lessons (6th form only luckily) I just decided that I really wasn't up to the slightly greater challenge of my GCSE class in the afternoon and went off to my dad's instead. After moping on the sofa there for an hour or so I went back home and fell asleep for 2.5 hours, and have been an immobile lump on the sofa all evening.

I feel really feeble about it though, and rather angry at myself. I might well have weeks or even months to go yet and I really can't go around being weak and wimpy the whole time. Everyone at work is being incredibly kind and understanding, and they have a teacher in from tomorrow who will mostly be doing cover but is ready to take over my lessons at a moments notice if I'm called up. Its brilliant planning really, and I'm so damned lucky to be in such a supportive environment. The last thing I want to do is to lose my backbone at this point and let my colleagues and kids down while there is still plenty of work that I'm perfectly capable of doing.

Anyway, I'm hoping that I'm going to wake up tomorrow feeling less feeble, and just get on with it. If I throw myself in to work then hopefully it'll take my mind of the whole malarky. I just need to stop jumping every time a phone goes!